Being mummy is different, busy,
exhausting and rewarding in the best way. This little man has switched on a
smile a contentment that I never knew existed in me.
To be honest when I found out I
was pregnant I was so scared of being a mum, I felt I had no clue where to
start and already started to feel defensive of comments about me being a mother
before anyone even knew he was coming. I then just thought to myself that you
do the best you can and do not be afraid to ask my circle around me for help
and their thoughts. At the beginning of my pregnancy I thought that I would put
a journal together and take photos, but who knew that hyperemesis (extreme form
of morning sickness causes severe nausea and vomiting) and sciatica would tell
me to sit back down.
What they say is true enjoy what
you can because before you know it they teenagers, so enjoy each day with them
take pictures and videos and make amazing memories with them. As this boy is growing I feel myself as a
person as a woman as a mother growing day by day. I use to say I am looking
forward to feeling that ultimate love and happiness that my mum explained she
felt about me and my brother. Even my brother could not explain it he just said
you will see and I quote "I don't know its bare love still its mad"
and you know what its true it is so hard to explain. Its bare emotions and love
all for this one little boy who can’t even say I love you back....yet...lol.
Even talking about him and watching him play
its crazy when I say out loud or in my head I'm like yeah that is my son...I
have a son WOW ME YOU KNOW. He needs me and now I don't know what I would do
without him, he cracks me up anyone trouble him I'm on them don't business how
old you are mate. When he’s sick it’s the worst time of my life his dad is like
“yeah he’s a baby it will happen”. The look I give this man (if looks could
kill boi).
I would like to thank my son for bringing out a part of me
that I never knew existed and I have begun to know and love.
I love you Z.M
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